Emojis are in essence hieroglyphics or cave paintings. That means we have regressed in our ability to communicate.

Tonight's Flash episode Show more

FML, Texts From Last Night, College Humor

I can't remember others. Help?

remember before YouTube you'd watch random videos and flash videos on people's personal websites and you found them by someone telling you about it when you saw them in person.

good times.

"Shit guys, we got the missiles are coming, fire our shit"

"but i am le tired."

"well have a nap, THEN FIRE ZE MISSLES!"

smash boosted

Geeeeez I'm so sick of this drama and it seems like I can't ignore it. GET A LIFE! Grow up! Or something like that. This is fucking up the whole Mastodon spirit. The reason why I came here.

So apparently I picked a good time to feel down and withdraw from everything, including this site.

The drama llama has been running wild in here.

Even though I'm an adult I'm still that angry kid inside. The only difference is that it isn't accepted by society to be so angry as an adult. You either put on a mask to fit in or you withdraw from the people around you and make yourself the bad guy.

I haven't posted much the last few days because I haven't been feeling good mentally. Hopefully I'm back to my shitposting ways in a few more days.

What a week! I feel like I need to go out and do something fun but I'm pretty sure I'm going to stay home and fall asleep at 9:30.

smash boosted

My brilliant idea of the day: It's like Keurig, but for ice. You pay $400 for the machine, and then subscribe to a service that sends you special pods of our secret blend of hydrogen and oxygen. You put a pod into the machine, it scans the RFID chip, and if it's a valid first-party pod, puts out a perfect ice cube.

firms, my wallet is open and ready to receive.

Just wrote out a whole post then thought "it's not ready yet, I'll let it cook in my brain for a bit longer". So I deleted it.

That's how you ended up with this post instead, the iPhone 7 of posts.

I'm avoiding articles about the FCC's new net neutrality plan, which was released today. I know it will just make me angry and feel hopelessly powerless.

I love a smaller instance just caught up on 18 hours of toots in 5 minutes. Now I know everything I need to about you people.

And some of you should be ashamed of yourselves ...

smash boosted

Three things on Mastodon are certain: awoo, 🍍 and women in their underwear asking you to support their modeling careers on Patreon.

I'm considering deleting this account and starting over before I hit 100 followers. I don't want to get cocky.

Went to post a witty comment on someone's toot. It had one other reply and it was gold. Starred that shit and backed away slowly.

Well done my friend, well done.

The NHL and NBA playoffs feel like the BASEketball playoffs.

when composing a post: "yes!! 500 characters really let's me express myself"

when reading a post: "ah fuck it, tl;dr"

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One of the first Mastodon instances, there is no specific topic we're into, just enjoy your time!