@starbreaker @vfrmedia @OldandConfused @pzmyers I tried this when I was small, until my teens. But then I realized that fighting my bullies was completely hopeless. I was powerless against them. Plus, my mother kept telling me that I basically "deserved" all the bullying.
Therefore I turned to the only person over whom I had power: Myself. I desperately tried to become someone else, someone who didn't "deserve" all this.
@pzmyers @OldandConfused @vfrmedia @starbreaker When I grew older, the bullying slowly subsided. During my last three years of school, we weren't taught as a class anymore, but in changing groups, depending on the subject. That helped. I was able to get away from the bullies, and the other kids "tolerated" me, even if they knew that I was unpopular.
@stefanieschulte @pzmyers @OldandConfused @starbreaker from watching #DieMaus
I get impression that DE kids from primary to highschool are given more freedom than UK (even now).
But that is difficult to manage, and I wonder if one reason DE is forced to address problem today (similar to Asian nations) is whole generations choosing not to have children at all?
@stefanieschulte @pzmyers @OldandConfused @starbreaker my sister (who is pregnant with her first child at age 37) told me about how DE has much more maternity leave than UK and employment protection (she speaks fluent German and travels there regularly for work).
I expressed surprise that in such cases the birthrates were so low, but she also explained that there is still stigma against working mothers in DE even compared to UK..
@vfrmedia @pzmyers @OldandConfused @starbreaker This, and there are a lot of practical issues, too: It used to be very difficult to get childcare for younger kids.
This seems to have changed a bit: Several of my colleagues are having babies or toddlers right now, and there are a lot more childcare options available than a few years ago, as it seems.
@starbreaker @OldandConfused @pzmyers @vfrmedia Many working mothers used to rely on their own parents for childcare, and I think this is still true, at least to some extent. For me, however, this wouldn't be an option, considering my own experiences with my mother. It also wouldn't work for people whose parents are living far away, or are unwell, or who wouldn't like to take care of their grandkids all the time.
@stefanieschulte @starbreaker @OldandConfused @pzmyers if women are (understandably) having children later in life, grandparents are far more likely to be in old age with health issues that would make caring for grandkids impossible.
At the seniors homes I work at visits by children and grandchildren are highly welcome, but most patients can barely walk, let alone look after small children!
@vfrmedia @starbreaker @OldandConfused @pzmyers I've once read an article about why black women in the US usually have children early (something they are often publicly criticized for), and this was cited as one of the key reasons: Their own parents are still in good health, and they don't need care themselves.
@stefanieschulte @starbreaker @OldandConfused @pzmyers also happens amongst the White English population in my region which is a mixed urban/rural area, many people in their 40s are already likely to be grandparents and the seniors great grandparents. Not really a problem other than occasionally during visiting hours at work, UK's car dependency means traffic management issues in the car park (ambulances must have clear space!)
@stefanieschulte @pzmyers @OldandConfused @starbreaker I read recently that a rural area in DE , initially wary of refugee familes now welcomes them as 5 children they brought in were the difference between the junior school closing due to lack of pupils or remaining open!
My view about kids is similar to dogs; they can be cute but high maintenance and can be valuable and useful but I prefer it if someone else looks after them!
@vfrmedia @pzmyers @OldandConfused @starbreaker I admire the people who raise kids, and who do it well! However, I think society can also make this task easier or more difficult for both parents and children!
@vfrmedia @pzmyers @OldandConfused @starbreaker Some argue that many countries with very traditional gender roles (like Japan, Germany or - as I believe - Italy, too) have this kind of demographic problem.