I have a pet tree.
It's a lot like having a pet dog but the bark is much quieter.
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#pun
15 posts15 participants2 posts today
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10yo: Are there any chips left?
Me: I think there’s one little bag left.
10yo (looking): Yeah, there’s a little bag of potato chips left. Just one.
Me: Okay good, you can have it.
10yo: The Last of Utz
Ich khruang, also bin ich.
Khruangbin - A La Sala Album
Here's a dumb joke to start off your weekend (I put this together for a flyer for a community garden).
Do you think you can simply hold 20l of fuel?
- Well i can't, but Jerrycan!
Make sure to not randomly insult fruit
Otherwise, you might accidentally dissapear
Now that's how you write good die-a-log 
@writers @writingcommunity @writing @humour
@puns
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#BoostingIsSharing
Spring is the cure for whatever ales you.
(It's #HootinTootinTuesday again! Post some jokes or funny memes under this hashtag today, and bring lots of smiles to #Mastodon.)
Woulda Coulda Shoulda... Gouda?
If there ever was a "cheese remorse".
Rust programmers like the band Dire traits.
Continued thread
Arrived at Kilkivan showgrounds. OSMAnd knew where that was (thank-you @openstreetmap) but all three GPSes failed to observe the Bruce Highway now bypasses Gympie.
Cue three very confused GPSs that thought we were driving through paddocks and some very hap-hazard navigation from OSMAnd.
The spirit level on the van is out of alignment too, thought we were level when to our eyes we were not. A second level also thought we were off. I guess the van is wrong on many levels. #pun
Went to the doctor yesterday with a suspicious looking mole.
He said they all look like that, and I should have left him in my garden.